As I stood front of my favorite Beatle, the only thing I could think of was that his contact lenses looked like they hurt him. He smiled and stuck out his hand and without thinking, I rested my right arm on top of his left while we shook hands! “John, ” I said, “are your contacts bothering you?” “No,” he answered. I got the distinct feeling that not too many people had asked that question. Undaunted I plunged on, “I have them too!” I confided. He leaned closer and stared searchingly into my eyes. “Are yours bothering you?” he said with a straight face. “No.” I stammered and then we both laughed. “They’re good aren’t they?” John said seriously and I could only nod, not trusting my voice. “But your eyes are prettier than mine.” John said and to my dismay unwanted tears rolled down my cheeks. “Hey” John said with a slight laugh. “Don’t cry or they’ll wash away!” I smiled through my tears as I blurted, “John you’re my favorite.” He smiled warmly, gave my hand a final shake and said, “You’re my favorite.” —The Girl Who Got To Meet The Beatles (Datebook Magazine Winter)
RED, THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN
TEA, A DRINK WITH JAM AND BREAD
heLP I DON’T KNOW WHICH TUNE TO SING IT IN
SO LONG, FAREWELL, AUF WIEDERSEHEN GOOD BYE.
LOOK DOWN, LOOK DOWN, YOU’RE HERE UNTIL YOU DIE.
This is literally the stupidest comic I have ever made and I’m not even sorry
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man?
just like the population of Ireland during the Great Famine
history nerds are the best.
I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up.
shoutout to all the other ex-gifted & talented/honor student/straight a/senior editor/star student/99th percentile/once-creative burn-outs who have, since high school, realized they are truly miniscule fish in a giant, endless ocean, criticized themselves to the point of creative paralysis, and participated in so much self-sabotage they no longer see the point of doing anything at all because they’re just going to ruin it for themselves anyway
this one’s for you
i am laughing so hard
everyone is getting into relationships and growing up and I’m just getting lazier and finding more tv series to watch
what if harry had been sorted into slytherin though
- sarcastic bastard and no need to pretend otherwise
- learning the names of people outside your immediate circle of friends??? please
- usually overdramatic, sometimes morally grey
- sirius having to deal with the fact that his godson is a slytherin. a slytherin. james potter’s son is in slytherin. remus can you believe this
- bezzies-by-circumstance with draco malfoy with all the highlights including a) earth-shattering fights, b) someone brazen enough to curb draco’s nastiness, and c) someone unimpressed enough to tell harry to get a fucking grip and stop being so self-righteous all the time potter you frilly whingebag
- (and a friendship with harry/draco reluctantly getting roped into his cause could have changed a whole buncha shit for the malfoys and all that Malfoy Joins the Order With Snape fic of ‘03-‘05 could have come true)
- speaking of, a head of house/student relationship with snape might have saved his character from being entirely reprehensible
- challenging the wizarding public’s views of slytherin house by pitting their ridiculous prejudices against their blind all-consuming love for/faith in harry
- quirrell was a ravenclaw and wormtail was a gryffindor [insert harry’s sarcastic one-liner about all the witches and wizards who went bad being in slytherin here]
- jkr putting her money where her mouth is re: “we’ve all got both light and dark inside us, it’s our choices who make us who we truly are” by putting the boy who lived and eventual saviour of the wizarding world in the ~evil house~
- or even better she could have established slytherin as the ~evil house~ and then dismantled that completely by showing harry surrounded by loving, caring people forced to choose between standing beside their friend harry or supporting voldemort’s/their parents’ cause
- harry’s group of friends torn in two by their parents’ ideology and their loyalty to harry and what they’ve seen to be true while sharing a home with hundreds of halfbloods and muggleborns
- and then members of slytherin house fighting tooth and nail against the people who raised them because harry potter just has that effect on people
- all resulting in an eventual about-face in people’s attitudes towards slytherins
- and when harry has kids they’re proud at the thought of being sorted into slytherin house because their dad was a slytherin and he saved the fucking world
THIS POST IS EVERYTHING